The Importance of Communicating with Your Toddler
Hi Moms! A big “Well Done” to you for moving through each lesson with consistency and dedication. Your hard work will pay off.
Since we’ve added toddlers into our program, I feel it’s important to include a section on communication. Even though your toddler’s spoken vocabulary may only be a handful of words, he understands much more (than we parents may realize.)
So rather than just subjecting your toddler to new routines and habits without any explanation (not that you would,) instead prepare your little guy or girl for the changes that are coming. This will (hopefully ?? ) lead to less resistance and quicker acceptance by your toddler.
Your one year-old can probably speak anywhere from 5-25 words. He’s in the “passive phase” of language acquisition. This means that although he can’t relay clearly to you that he understands everything you’re saying, you can be sure that he’s absorbing and learning! More than likely, he communicates his needs in other ways such as gestures, facial expressions and body language.
Helpful Tips for Communicating with Your Toddler
Speak to your toddler all day long. This is the best way for him to absorb language. You don’t need to plan out “lessons” where you sit together and work through a specific plan. Instead, simply explain things like where you’ll be running errands today, and name each food as you chop and prepare meals. And of course, sing lots of songs.
When your toddler tries to respond (whether it’s clear or just baby babbling) nod, smile and listen. Give him the space to take his turn at communicating. This helps him feel included and important, and also models how to listen when others are speaking.
Maybe you’re doing baby sign language with your little one already. Fantastic! Experts say that babies and toddlers can communicate via sign language earlier than spoken communication. This often results in less frustration for your little one because he can explain himself and get his needs met. Toddlers can learn dozens of hand gestures to identify with words.
To ease your toddler’s transition to a new Peaceful Nightly Ritual and method of handling night wakings, I recommend you introduce a few signs. You can make up your own signs or use the ones below.
Dinner / Food
photo by babysignlanguage.com
See a video clip of this sign here
Bath
photo by babysignlanguage.com
See a video clip of this sign here
Pajamas
photo by babysignlanguage.com
See a video clip of this sign here
Book
photo by babysignlanguage.com
See a video clip of this sign here
Sleep
photo by babysignlanguage.com
See a video clip of this sign here
When communicating with your toddler make sure you:
Get down on your child’s level. Squat down to be at eye level, or sit on the floor or bed with him.
Make eye contact and use a calm, soothing voice (not the same voice you’d use when he’s about to run in the street, for example.)
Choose positive words over negative ones.
- “Take a big bite of broccoli” rather than “Don’t play with your food”
- “Hand that to Mommy” rather than “Don’t touch that!”
- “Hold my hand, we’ll walk together” rather than “Don’t run!”
Before you begin a new routine for bedtime or night wakings:
Communicate your expectations to your toddler in a way like this.
Mid-afternoon when he’s not hungry or tired, sit with him and do something he enjoys like read a book or play with blocks. After several minutes of happy play, look your toddler in the eye and gently explain what will happen tonight. Keep it simple! 1-2 short sentences. No big words. Use a script such as , “Caleb, Mommy loves you so much! So tonight you get to sleep in your bed where it’s warm, soft and all your animals are there with you.”
That’s it. Repeat it a few times in the hours before bedtime, each day.
What to do at bedtime:
I know it’s easier said than done, but you want to project calmness and happiness during your Peaceful Nightly Ritual (PNR) and night wakings. Your toddler will probably be fine with all the steps of the PNR, until you get to the last one- falling asleep in his bed on his own.
After you finish reading books, gently say “Now, Caleb is going in his warm, happy bed to fall asleep. And Mommy will be right here with him.”
No matter if you stay in the room or not, you might get upset or stressed if he cries. Find a simple mantra that resonates with you and say it over and over. Something like “I love you so much that I’m going to help you sleep better. Mommy, Daddy and Caleb need to sleep better. This is best for all of us.”
Toddlers love to copycat. If you’re trying to encourage him to lie down in his bed (rather than standing and staring right at you,) mimic what you want him to do. Pretend to lie down or at least lean your head over to the side while you say “Lie down.”
The first few nights are the roughest. But it does get better! Your little one may stand, fuss, roll around or even cry. Remember, changing any habit isn’t always easy. But you will succeed when you’re consistent.
Keep up with your positive words during these stressful moments. Encourage your baby with statements like “Put your head down on the bed” or “Mommy wants you to lie down.”
If you feel yourself getting worked up, angry, or sad, take a time out. Get your spouse to step in and take over.
I hope you find these tips to be helpful. The main takeaway is to remember to communicate with your toddler. In simple terms, tell him what will happen each night, where Mommy/Daddy will be, and of course, that you love him.
I hope this helps!